Received via email, Twitter, and GrandCentral voicemail
14 March 2007 01:13 UST
From: The YaGooSoft Digital Overlords
Directives to all bloggers:
Please include several prominent opinions on the recent Elliot Spitzer scandal in your blogs, linking whenever possible to your own social network profiles. Mainstreamers, please continue to link to the latest stories on Yahoo News Corp. outlets when possible. If you are under 30, please also comment on your Microsoft Facebook and Yahoo News Corp. MySpace pages.
Topics should include the marketing benefits of having a social network page when scandal and/or tragedy strikes, the lack of privacy in America today, and debates on whose story is worth more (call girl or wife - contact your ward controller if you are unsure which one to choose). Other important links you can make are to Microsoft NetFlicks (downloads of Pretty Woman are online now) and to Google American Idol (watch for our regular Directives email later this month for the reason why).
Conservative bloggers, feel free to access the YouTube jokestream from the late-nighters (this will be good practice for the upcoming Clinton Obama administration). Liberals continue to link to Microsoft Slate and the Google Huffington Post as always.
Porn bloggers: the feeds and portfolios from former Oceans Club and the Emperor's Club VIP are still in process. All former employees are being screened and assigned slots for Oprah, Fox News, TMZ, Law & Order guest slots, National Enquirer, and WWE Main Event shows. We will let you know who is left after that process is complete.
The Digital Overlords thank you for your inevitable compliance.
PS: The big malware outbreak has been moved to the first week of April to accommodate current events.
Thanks to FirstFriday, BeerTap, We Harmless Pine, extrapalma, and SelfLaugh.com from their promptness! 
